Clerks (1994) and Clerks II (2006)

Clerks. (1994) & Clerks II. (2006)

Both written and directed by Kevin Smith

            I wasn’t even going to review these flicks because I know that everyone from my generation has seen at least the first one, and what can I say about either one that hasn’t been said yet?  But then I realized something.  Like all good movies, the View Askew films are movies that reach everybody differently.  Everyone has a different story about which Kevin Smith movie they like the most.  My personal favorite is Clerks II, but Dogma was the first flick I saw, and Mallrats was the first one I saw and loved.  I saw Dogma probably around September or October of 2000, when I was just 15.  I knew it was awesome, but I’m not sure I appreciated most of the jokes until the second viewing, which was about three years later.  I first saw Mallrats about a year and a half later, in February of 2002.  Two weeks earlier, I had gone snowboarding with my school.  When my school went on snowboarding/skiing trips (which was every Wednesday), the students were required to sign up with a training class.  This was my first time snowboarding.  Since I didn’t want to look like a Sissy Mary, I signed up for the intermediate class, instead of beginner.  It was also the first time of the season that my school had gone.  Our instructor took us on an expert run that day.  I went over a jump and fell on the landing.  Seconds later, another snowboarder soared over the jump (not someone with our school) and promptly landed on my head.  Literally.  I was unconscious for the next day and a half, or rather, I don’t remember the next day and a half.  I remember waking up in the hospital the next night.  I think.  Anyway, a head injury of this magnitude requires many follow-ups with many different brain doctors.  So, two weeks later, I accompanied my mom to Mammoth, California, where she worked, so we could go to the doctor after she got out of work.  I spent the day at her friend’s house nearby.  My mom’s friend had a daughter named Toni, who was also about my age (and quite hot, I might add), and Toni had Mallrats on tape.  Having nothing to do all day, I watched it.  Mallrats quickly became my favorite “teen comedy” and remains that way today.  I subsequently made it my personal mission to watch every Kevin Smith flick.  When I moved back to New York, I borrowed Chasing Amy from my uncle, I bought Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back and Dogma on DVD, I bought the tenth anniversary version of Clerks, I watched the Clerks: The Animated Series religiously, I saw (and loved) Clerks II, Jersey Girl, and Zack and Miri Make a Porno in theaters before they even came out to the public.  I was a fiend.  I can honestly say that Kevin Smith changed my life.  Clerks II cemented the fact that I wanted to become a screenwriter.  So, without further ado, here are my reviews for Clerks and Clerks II.

            Although I was only 9 years old when Clerks was released theatrically, and it wasn’t until I was about 19 years old that I actually saw it, Clerks pretty much sums up my childhood, growing up in the 90’s.  Many afternoons were spent doing nothing, talking about girls and saying the dirtiest possible things we could.  Watching it now, in my 20’s, the movie has changed a lot for me.  I felt an odd sense of both nostalgia and sadness.  The early 90’s was a time when somebody in their early 20’s could work in a convenience store and not go to college and figure out what they want to do with their life.  Things aren’t like that anymore, and I wish they were.  Once you turn 18, you’re quicky ushered into college, and then, the rest of your life.  Now, everybody knows that that’s not what I did, but I still feel the sense of not doing what’s expected of me, and thus, the disappointment from everyone else.  I want to work in a convenience store-slash-video store.  I want to make movies with my best friends.  I don’t even play hockey, but I want to play it on the roof of the place where I work.  And also, Dante was a hideous fucking chode! How did he always have two girls pining after him?  But you know what? These movies gave the rest of us hope.  I mean yea, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller, Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club, those are fucking excellent movies.  But, at least for me, they were always just a little bit out of reach.  Clerks changed that.  The characters spoke about the things I was speaking about.  They looked like me.  They acted like me.  And thus, it was incredibly accessible. 

            It does have it’s drawbacks.  Critics (and Smith himself) have spoken ad naseum about Kev’s lack of photographic flair.  Personally, I don’t think it took away from the film, but that’s just me.  I can admit that it’s a boring looking flick.  However, it doesn’t need it.  The dialogue and the story are what draw you in here.  I’m happy he didn’t keep the original ending, where the Quick-Stop is robbed and gunpoint and Dante dies.  It didn’t need the twist ending.  I still listen to the soundtrack to this one.  The music was awesome and I’m very surprised they got some of the music clearances that they did. 15 years later, this flick is still as good as it was the day it first came out, if not better.

            Clerks II is my favorite Kevin Smith flick.  Actually, for those that are fans, Kevin Smith’s website is having a Chrismas sale right now, and I just bought a signed copy of this screenplay for $11, and I can’t wait til it gets here.  While Clerks was funny, this one is side-splittingly funny.  He brings Dante and Randall into their thirties (they’ve aged equally to the time between flicks), and places them in the fast-food business when the the Quick Stop burns down.  Jay and Silent Bob are here too (in their final film appearance) and also introduces a new cast of misfits, the best of which is Elias (played by Trevor Fehrman – although imdb tells me this is the last movie he was in).  Of course, some of Kevin Smith’s usuals show up for cameos.  Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Kev’s wife Jennifer Schwalbach, Ethan Suplee, Kev’s mom, Scott Mosier, they all show up for a few seconds.  I will never forget the Pillowpants conversation.  Truly terrifying.  What this movie had that the first one lacked, was heart.  This was about Kevin Smith’s fears of going into his thirties and being at the same place he was 10 years before.  I have a good feeling that when I watch this 10 years from now, it will have an entirely different meaning for me.  Despite the fact that this is my favorite Smith movie, there are a few things I don’t like about it.  The musical montages have to end.  I counted at least 3 separate montages in this and I didn’t like any of them.  Also, Kevin Smith needs to stop giving his wife parts in his movies.  She’s just not that great.  And last, when he made this, Kevin Smith hadn’t worked in the service industry in about 12 years.  He obviously didn’t understand how it works anymore.  4 people can absolutely not run a fast food restaurant for a whole day, especially when at least 2 of them are always not in the restaurant.  The good things are: it’s funnier, smarter, more emotional, and the cinematography is 1000 times better than any other Smith movie.

            If you are one of the few people that haven’t seen either of these, then you owe it to yourself to check them out.