Crank 2: High Voltage (2009)

Crank 2: High Voltage (2009)

Written and Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor

            Holy shit, this movie is insane!  Starting off exactly where the first one ended, this is a neverending adrenaline rush of a movie.  It seemed as if the Neveldine & Taylor were trying to one-up themselves in each scene.  Just like the first movie, you HAVE to suspend all disbelief to make it through this one.  Also, if you’re easily offended, don’t even bother.

            As I just said, this flick starts off just seconds after the first one (if you don’t remember – Chev Chelios fell out of a helicopter, bounced off of a car, and one frame before the shot ended, he blinked), the ending of which is thankfully played back in 16-bit videogame graphics.  The irony of the videogame graphics is not lost on this reviewer, as the entire film plays just like a videogame.  A bunch of Asians literally shovel Chelios up off the ground and the adventure begins.  You see, in this one, Chev’s Strawberry Tart is replaced by an artificial chest thumper, which conveniently runs on a battery that will only last 1 hour if destroyed.  Needless to say, after 30 minutes, the battery dies. 

This movie featured some of the most obscene things I’ve ever seen on film.  Here’s a few examples: Anal-rape with a shotgun, putting cigarettes out on a heart, nipples, Shiny Lunch Box, strippers, at least 4 utterances of a word that starts with the letter “c” and ends with the letter “t” (I’ll give you a hint – it’s not “coat”), public sex, an old lady cursing, and more nipples.

There’s a lot that was good about this, but I suppose you have to be the kind of person that likes this.  Jason Statham continues to prove that he’s the number 1 action star of this decade.  The man is charming, charismatic, and funny as hell.  Bai Ling showed up as a hooker, and while I can’t say that I like her, or find her even remotely attractive, I can say that she was absolutely hilarious.  There’s a bunch of cameos in this one as well.  I mean, everyone shows up here, from Linkin Park’s Chester “My Band Just Keeps Getting Worse” Bennington, to Tool’s Maynard James Keenan, to Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite, and even one of the Coreys shows up for a split second.  But the real gem here, in my humble opinion, is Amy Smart.  Amy’s girlfriend character comes back, and this time she’s a stripper.  An insanely hot stripper.  Eve and Chelios top their Asian market sex scene from the first movie by having sex on a horse race track.  And it’s just as awesome as it sounds.  I really cannot emphasize enough how good Amy Smart looks in this movie.  I can actually recommend seeing it, just to see her.

Over the top? Check.  Naked chicks? Check.  Brutal violence? Check.  It’s official, there’s nothing bad about this movie.  Check it out!